I remember being on my knees. Crying. Begging a man not to go. Begging for another chance as if I was the one who messed up. I even made a voice recorded message professing my love when I felt it was almost over. I went back every time I promised myself it was enough that I was done. I broke it off. Time and time again but I went above and beyond in the relationship and I even had the nerve to to ask him he as walked out the door, “Why am I not enough for you!?”
There’s no shame in my growth. I’m keeping it 💯.I can share this with you now and laugh at the visuals I have of this scene in my head. But make no mistake, there was nothing funny about this scene. It was sad. And pathetic. And I have acted out the same play with different male leads. Same script though. You would think I’d learn my lesson after the fourth or fifth encore. NOPE. I learned my lesson when I began my healing journey with waistbeads. I began to think higher of myself and in turn raised my expectations in those I sought to surround myself with. I eventually felt grateful for the pain. Grateful for the broken hearts. Grateful for the misuse of my love. Because now I know what it feels like. I know what it looks like. And if anything starts to feel or look like it’s heading it that direction, my healing journey has helped me know my value and worthiness is too high to journey down dead end low vibrational paths with someone. May it be a friend or lover. You can go! GOOOOOOOOO!Now, I go hard for myself. Harder than I ever have before. I go hard for myself because I’m the one I can’t live without. I’m the one I begging to stay. I’m the one leaving voice memos to myself reminding how bomb as fuc& I am. I’m crying and on my knees for me. For. ME.
Greetings! Very helpful advice within this post!
It is the little changes which will make the most significant changes.
Thanks a lot for sharing!